The Act of Dating

I am feeling very Carrie from Sex in the City right now. While I am not writing up a column for a magazine from my apartment in New York City. I am going to write about this funny thing called ‘dating.’

The term ‘dating’ is foreign to me. Something I haven’t really engaged with in the past. I’ve been the ‘relationship’ type of person. So here I have found myself in my early 30’s embarking on a strange and unfamiliar journey. It seems what dating consists of has changed dramatically over time. Terms that are used, gender roles have been challenged and now it’s just a ‘free for all’ ‘do what you want’ kind of thing.

Cast your mind back to your parents day and age, or your grandparents. They would attend a local dinner dance where some fine gentleman would ask you to dance, you would be whisked around that dance floor – waltzing, tango-ing, cha-chaing (along with all of the other folk dances) and generally that would be the beginning of a beautiful love story.

Now-a days there is so much to contend with – where do you meet people? – through mutual friends,  at a local club where you have a common interest, or these days…the internet. I dipped into the internet dating thing, and I must say it’s not my cup of tea. For me it felt unnatural and forced, like I was scrolling through a catalog of eligible bachelors. Whilst I know many a couple who have met and fell in love online, and my hat goes off to them, it’s just not for me. I would much rather be swept off my feet on the dance floor at the local RSL (see previous paragraph).

I’ve had a wealth of advice coming from friends and family members, and there has been 2 main common things come out of their own personal experiences:

  1. “I wasn’t looking and was genuinely happy being single”
  2. “Have fun now and do whatever you want”

Exploring the whole dating thing enables you to learn more about yourself and what you want from a partner in the future and what you don’t want without the pressures of having to answer to anyone. You can explore possibilities that you didn’t know were there before.

At the end of the day, and this is completely my opinion and what I have found, is that you have to go with what suits you. What feels comfortable and what feels ‘right.’ Whether it is being set up on a blind date, internet dating, speed dating ect. There is no ‘one size fits all’ and each relationship is unique and individual. Do what feels comfortable without compromising your own values and morals.

Until next time,

Sunshine, Lollipops, Rainbows and Prancing and Romancing,

Melissa 🙂

It’s all about balance

In a world where we are inundated with the “right” way to live our life, it can be difficult and overwhelming to know if we are getting it “right.”

Eat well, exercise, socialise, have time on your own, give to charity, save your money, read, write, expand your knowledge, tune out, meditate, slow down, why do tomorrow what you can do today? Live a minimalist lifestyle. Whoa! How do we fit all of this into our lives? The key is balance, and not being so hard on yourself. As the saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

We are bombarded on the internet, social media and in bookstores (my favourite kind of store) with self-help books giving us advice on how to live a more mindful lifestyle. I will admit I am a sucker for a good self-help book. In the last year I have read 6 self help books, and am part way through my 7th. What I have found is taking what I find useful from each book and applying it to everyday life. By no means do I take it as gospel. I take what makes sense to me and what makes me feel good – and balanced.

I am a huge advocate for writing. While I have not kept up to date with this blog, I also write in a journal. I find that it helps me process all of the things that are happening within my life. There is no method or structure to my writing, I just write whatever comes to mind and apply it to paper. It is fascinating the revelations that you have while writing.

Something that I have learnt that I find really works for me is tuning into my own body. I listen to it, and honour what it needs. I nourish it with healthy food and exercise. If I need time on my own I take the time to stay at home, go for a walk, have a bath, read, write in my journal, meditate or play with my dog. I do things that make me feel good. I am also well aware if I am getting stuck in a rut and need to “get out more.” I will contact family and friends and make sure I have great interactions with like-minded people that are positive, motivated and inspiring (I hope I motivate and inspire my family and friends too – it is a 2 way street after all).

My point is to find the things that you love and do that! Listen to your body – it’s wants and needs, and give it just that. Once you get into a routine of tuning in, it will all start to occur naturally and be a beautiful, pleasant experience, that makes you feel balanced.

Very Superstitious, writings on the wall

“Very superstitious, writings on the wall
Very superstitious, ladders bout’ to fall
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin’ glass
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past” Stevie Wonder – Superstitious

Are you superstitious? Do you avoid walking underneath ladders? Do you avoid cracks on the pavement paths? Do you have a fear of black cats? I once read that if a black cat is walking towards you it is bringing you luck, however if it walks away from you, it is taking luck away. Do you have a lucky number? Or maybe an unlucky number?

About 2 years ago I accidentally broke a mirror. I looked up remedies to rid myself of 7 years of bad luck. I wasn’t sure if I believed in that myth (but you can never be too careful!) So I took the mirror outside under the moonlight and ground it into dust…low and behold…the last 2 years I have certainly lacked in the ‘luck’ department – so is it because of that broken mirror? Or is it just the way my life has panned itself out so that it can make way for bigger and better things? I am going for the latter my friends, because the glass is always half full! Bigger and better things are on the horizon!

This year I have taken other measures to improve my ‘luck.’ For instance, there are many suggestions and ideals as to when the ‘right time’ is to take down the Christmas tree and the Christmas decorations. I entrusted good old Google and they suggested that the 6th of January was when it should be taken down, and if you miss that date you need to wait until the 2nd of Feb! So on the 6th of Jan I pulled down all of my decorations with care, positive that this will some how aid in boosting my luck levels in 2018!

The power of the full moon and the new moon. I have started some rituals, such as putting my oracle and tarot cards in the moonlight to cleanse and charge, along with my stones and crystals. I sage my house to clear the energy and to attract only positive vibes to my home and within my life.

I have also started setting and releasing intentions on a full moon. An interesting and invigorating concept. It kind of reminds me of being a child…everything was so magical. As a child you have so much to believe in – Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Pixies, Fairies, they all exist and wishes certainly do come true! Some where along the way, as we grew up we lost it. Now I don’t know if it is my current love for self-help books and manifestation articles, making dreams reality, so on and so forth, that I have started feeling the same way. Life is magical. You need to constantly believe that something wonderful is about to happen! And generally it will. For instance I went for a walk on a beautiful summer’s day, a couple of days into the new year and as I was walking I saw the most beautiful butterfly. It was black and had distinct red and white markings. That was wonderful, and certainly made my day! These wonderful life things that happen to each and every one of us does not have to be as huge as winning the lotto, but there is certainly beauty and wonder in every single day.

So I am going to dub myself ‘Lady Luck’ because what you believe, you receive.

Peace out!

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows (and ladybugs) xoxo

 

 

Gratitude – looking back on the year that was 2017!

As 2017 is coming to a close I have been reflecting on the year that has been 2017. I do this every year and have done so since I was a teenager. I pull apart all aspects of my life – health, career, relationships, life in general. I consider what went well, what didn’t go so well, what am I proud of and what would I like to achieve in the following year.

For me, 2017 has been the most challenging year of my 31 years of existence, especially on an emotional level. I could look back and say that I hated this year, but to be perfectly honest with you, while I have been pushed to my limits, I have bounced back with a vengeance, and have grown so much – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

This year I focused on self-care, and I suppose, learning to love the person that I am. That it is perfectly OK to take time to process, to feel and to release. I learnt how to channel my negative emotions in a positive way – I joined the HIIT Factory. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I have done challenges and exercises that I never thought I would be able to do. I focused and completed a 6 week challenge, as well as completed the 30 sessions in 30 days challenge this month. Exercise is not just about your physical health, it is your overall well being. It shows how much your mind has control over you, and the need to push yourself to challenge the self talk. Not only have I become stronger and fitter, I have met such a great bunch of people, which brings me to my next point.

My relationships with my family and friends have strengthened. I have met so many new people this year through starting a new job, joining the HIIT Factory and attending meditation classes. Meeting so many people who all come with their own stories, who are there for one another, to build each other up and support each other has been amazing. I don’t remember ever meeting so many new people in my life! I also think having a common interest has also assisted in meeting these great people.

I am grateful for the roof over my head, and my new roof that I will move into at the start of next year. I am grateful for Teddy and Gattin – there is never a dull moment when they are around!

I am grateful for my body. It carries me around every day. It is healthy. I am also grateful for all of the tools that I have been given to look after my body properly.

Overall I am grateful for this life that I have been given. Yes it is tough. Yes we all have to go through stuff. However it is this stuff that we go through that makes us stronger and appreciate life even more. It helps us appreciate the small things. I love nature. I love the bush, I love rain forests, I love the beach. I love the sound of birds. I love the smell of flowers. I love rainbows. I love the smell of the rain. I love the warmth of the sun, and I love having to rug up on a cold day. There is so much to appreciate!

So, what next? What will 2018 bring?

Happiness, health, positive relationships, new beginnings, change! Bring it on!

I think and I feel that 2018 is going to be amazing!

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy New Year!

May your 2018 be filled with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows!

Mel xo

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

So I am a wee bit delayed on the blogging front, and I am aware that Christmas was 2 days ago – and wasn’t it wonderful?! Christmas has always been my favourite time of year. For those of you who don’t know, I am a December baby…but most often than not I forget that my birthday is approaching because I am thinking about CHRISTMAS! The carols, the trees, the decorations, the food, the people, the joy, the laughter. There is just this magic that is around Christmas time.

I also find that Christmas evokes a feeling of nostalgia. Where you reminisce of a time where you were so excited in the lead up to Christmas. The thought that you had made it onto Santa’s Nice List. On Christmas Eve carefully placing out a glass of milk, a cookie and a carrot for the reindeer. So excited that falling asleep seemed impossible, and that you actually believed that you heard the jingle of Santa’s bells and the sleigh landing on the roof. Then on the day of Christmas, waking up super duper early to open the gifts that had been left in the stocking and underneath the tree. Spending the day playing, being with family and eating. There is nothing quite like the excitement a child feels at Christmas time.

How about as an adult? I still love Christmas. I still get excited about it. However the excitement is for different reasons. I get excited to see the excitement of my nieces. I remember exactly how that feels, and in turn their excitement is infectious, and you can’t help but to be excited too! Then there is just spending time with the family. That is the most beautiful part. Being in each other’s company. No where else to be, no where else to rush off to. To just be together and appreciate one another.

In my next blog I will be focusing on gratitude and the year that has been 2017. Ever since I was a teenager I have always spent the final days of the year reflecting on the year that has been, and what I hope to manifest in the following year.

Stay tuned.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows (and Christmas lights)

xoxo

Yas!!!

So a few moons ago I wrote about my year of yes…that I was going to do things that scare me. Things that get me out of my comfort zone, and last night I really felt that I lived up to my personal promise.

In April I joined the HIIT Factory. I don’t like calling it a gym, because it’s not. It is High Intensity Interval Training. There is a wide range of classes that cater for cardio, strength and core workouts. Now joining the HIIT Factory was definitely out of my comfort zone. I don’t really have a problem going to places or starting something new with people I don’t know. It was more because mentally I thought I could not do those exercises. That my heart was going to pound out of chest and I would die on the spot….Fast forward 7 months and low and behold I am still alive my friends! Not only alive, but healthier, fitter and stronger than I have even been. Not only that, my mentality has changed. I can push myself harder, and I can do things that I didn’t think were possible. I also make healthier eating choices (I am not banning food, I have a balanced diet and will admit to dipping a teaspoon into a jar of nutella the other night – balance my friends 😉

What does last night have to do with joining the HIIT Factory in April, I hear you ask? Well last night they held a Christmas Party and all members were invited. While I have met lots of lovely people while being part of this community, everyone to me were acquaintances. I argued in my own head about all of the reasons that I shouldn’t go – you should stay home, rest, you don’t know anyone, you won’t have anything to say, what if you make a fool of your self…but what did I do? I went! Not only did I go…I had the best time! I got to talk to people, I had things to say, and I certainly did not make a fool of myself.

Everyone was dressed up, everyone was chatting away, introducing each other to other members of the HIIT Factory. There were food and beverages, a DJ and lots of dancing! Boy did I dance, I danced so much that my knees hurt! I found myself looking around thinking how fortunate I am to have found these amazing people, who are all so different, who joined the HIIT Factory for so many different reasons, but because of that place we all had something in common.

The moral of this story is that you never know what could happen if you step out of your comfort zone! As the saying goes “I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.”

 

Utopia

Utopia was a term that was introduced to me back in high school. I can’t remember now what it was that we were studying, but the idea of utopia was suggested, in which a place or situation is perfect.

Lately I have been wondering what my utopia would be? I’m sure if you asked a number of people everyone’s idea on the ideal world would be considerably different. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not as naive as I use to be, and I am well aware that this world is far from perfect. However, there is nothing wrong with a little imagination or daydreaming of perfection!

What does my utopia look like?

The earth is clean – fresh air, free from pollution, the purest of water, fresh produce that hasn’t been exposed to harmful chemicals.

Animals roam freely, where human’s don’t disturb or destroy their natural habits. No creature great or small is in danger of extinction.

Human’s are just good, decent beings. The type that care and look out for one another. That have each other’s best interests at heart and are not motivated by personal gain.

That the earth was free from illness, and natural disasters.

That truffula trees actually existed., and Brown Bar-Ba Loots in Bar-Ba Loo Suits (thank-you Dr. Seuss).

All food and beverages were actually healthy for us.

Every Friday and Saturday evening were used for wining and dining, and rock and roll style/folk dancing was to be had within the local community. Everyone ate, drank and were merry. Everyone was happy.

Ahhh life could be a dream – shaboom shaboom.

Oh, and of course! Every day was filled with sunshine, lollypops and rainbows!

❤ Melissa