2019! The Year That Has Been!

Well 2019, I’m not sure where you have gone, but you have been great! When I reflect on the year that has been, I know exactly where it went! Full of fun, new experiences and growth. There was never a dull moment in 2019, that’s for sure.

When I think about the last year, I would say it is one year where I stepped out of my comfort zone more than ever before, and this stems across a lot of aspects of my life – health, career and relationships. I attended social events that I normally would have declined, because of the unknown, I pushed my body in relation to what it is capable of doing, and that my friend I was shown that the power of the mind can really outweigh the abilities of the body.

So let’s take a trip down memory lane…

Health

This year my health was an interesting one. I continued training at my beloved Hustle and Thrive, and after the June challenge I would say I was the fittest and healthiest I have ever been. Back in May I challenged my body and my mind, with 7 other kick ass women, walking 60km at Coastrek to raise funds for the Fred Hollows Foundation. The training was gruelling, and I can tell you, during some of those training sessions I was ready to give up. My mind can be a bit of a b**ch sometimes. She was telling me “you can’t do this. You are already tired and sore. You are going to let the whole team down” (she’s a nasty piece of work, isn’t she?!). However, on the day, I got my butt out of bed, and I just did it. There wasn’t a moment on that day, not even when it was pitch black, and pouring with rain did I consider giving up. I just kept on going. I did it, we all did it!
I ran my first 10km run at Run Melbourne. What a high that was! Again, my nasty mind would pop up (I need to find a name for this self-talking negative Nelly, but not Nelly, that doesn’t ‘feel’ right). She would tell me how I couldn’t breathe. How my legs couldn’t go on. How I was slow. How I’m not a runner. How back in primary school I was always the slowest. Always one of the last people to be picked on a team. How I wasn’t allowed to try out for the Cross-Country Athletics because of my heart (more about my dicky heart in a moment). Despite all that, I did do it. I had my run coaches voice in the back of my head “feet in, tram tracks, shoulders back, breathe, remember to breathe. The last 3kms I want you to give it everything you’ve got – nothing left in the tank!” That is what I did, and I got there, out of breath but on a complete high! After Run Melbourne, I started considering my options for Melbourne Marathon and deliberated over attempting my first half marathon. I decided to calm my farm and stick to 10km to get comfortable and attempt to beat my Run Melbourne time.

Unfortunately for me, my heart had other plans. Our bodies respond in funny ways when we are stressed. Sometimes we don’t even realise how much pressure we are putting ourselves under until our bodies start acting in strange ways “Alert! Alert! Slow down!” So I was unable to participate in Melbourne Marathon, and had to give up training for a short period of time. I was gutted. I was gutted because I worked my butt off for that event. I was gutted because I was on a roll with training. I was gutted because it brought back those memories of when I was told that I couldn’t do certain things. At the end of the day, I am grateful for the investigations that were had. I listened to what the doctor’s said, because it was serious, and guys, I still have a lot of plans in this life, so I’m not prepared to leave just yet. Yes, I have an irregular heartbeat, but after some investigations it was decided that there should be no reason as to why I can’t go back to running, and training. Getting back into it was tough. My mind ruled the roost. I was scared of being out of breath, of discovering the decline in my fitness level and of my body hurting. I had to count on some accountability buddies to get me to classes, and I have since made a gradual come back.

Health and fitness in 2020: I have started considering my options in regards to events, and I am going to give the 10km at Run Melbourne another crack!

Be mindful about having a work/life balance.

Career

I finished studying! (For now! *insert eye roll*) It’s hard to believe that in this decade I graduated to become a Kindergarten Teacher, studied my Masters in Special Needs Education, and now I’ve thrown caution to the wind and have completed my Diploma in Remedial Massage and started my business – who would have thought?! Not me! But you know what? I would rather be challenging myself, discovering new things and pursuing what is going to make me happy, rather than feeling like I am stuck doing something that I was no longer fulfilling. Now I can’t tell you how many times I heard “but you are so good at what you do!” as though that was it for me. Yes, I have strong maternal instincts. I still love teaching children and caring for them. They still bring me joy, but the job itself was no longer bringing me joy. The paper work, it had become relentless, and I actually wasn’t seeing the point or the value in it. Paper work for paper works sake. When you are told continuously that you are ‘good’ at something, yes it is nice, but I started thinking, surely, surely there is something else out there that I can be good at. That I can reserve my maternal instincts to my nieces, to my friends children, and eventually when…and if I ever get the chance, my own children. Sure enough, I found something. Something that I am passionate about. Something that is going to help others.

Career in 2020: Exciting times ahead! Who knows where my new found career is going to take me. It has already brought me so many exciting and new opportunities that I am going to continue to apply myself and roll with the punches!

Relationships

Relationships take all forms – family, friends, acquaintances and romantic relationships. I have had a wonderful year with my family and friends, we have created so many beautiful memories that I will cherish forever.

I have to say I have a bit of a laugh when I think about my love life during 2019. What an experience. This is an area I jumped wayyyyyy out of my comfort zone. Online dating, blind dates. I’ve been on more ‘dates’ this year than in my whole life, and what an eye opener that has been. With each person I have met I have become better at working out what I want and what I don’t want. I’ve broken my own rules, and I discovered that it’s ok to break your own rules, because it allows you to live…and will also remind you as to why you had those rules in the first place. I channelled my inner Ted Mosby, on the pursuit of finding ‘the one,’ and have declared on more than one occasion that maybe relationships aren’t for me, maybe I am suppose to be the ‘single Aunty.’ Then I tell myself to get over myself, and that is not the case at all. Who knows really.

I never thought I would be the type of woman that had to consider that her “biological clock is ticking” because it is a true reality, which I think has made me put more pressure on myself. However, I am increasingly aware of the fact that I am not willing to settle. I’m not willing to settle for less than I deserve, to be in an unhappy relationship, to wake up one day and feel like I just settled. Life is too short to be in an unhappy relationship, and at the end of the day, if my cards have been dealt and I am suppose to be that ‘single Aunty’ at least science has my back and I can have children on my own. The unknown is a scary thing, but you have to have your own back. You have to keep the faith because deep down I still refuse to believe or accept that these are the cards that I have been dealt with, and if they are, well, at least I’ve got a plan B!

Relationships in 2020: To be more present and focused when around loved ones.

So, my dear readers. That is 2019, summed up in a nutshell.

Thank-you for coming along with me on my blogging journey!

Have a safe and happy new year!

See you in 2020!

Author: mabarberlissa

Hi and welcome to my blog! The aim of my blog is to share some of my experiences, my thoughts and feelings about mindfulness, while providing strategies on what gets me by in this ever changing, ever moving world! I hope that my readers gain something out of the entries as well.

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