The Art of Online Dating

The Art of Online Dating, or is there? Is there an art to being successful in the realm of the internet dating sphere? Or just in dating in general?
I guess it all depends what it is that you are looking for online and what you determine as being successful. Is it how many hook ups you can have? Is it how many dates that you go on? Is it finding the man or woman of your dreams? Only you can decide what measures success for you.
However, I am here to clarify one thing and one thing only: The only way you can be successful in the dating world is by being yourself. Revolutionary, I know! (So far it’s worked out just great for me hahaha).
I’ve been on a couple of ‘dates’ (I believe that is what they are, although I prefer the term ‘Meet and Greet’s (on the first date that is), and the thing that I noticed is how different things can be in person vs behind the keyboard. You can be charming, witty, say all of the right things and appear to really ‘hit it off.’ The % rate of your compatibility is through the roof – all the signs of a match made in heaven! Then you meet, and it’s different. Maybe it’s different because based on all of the things that are outlined above you began to develop expectations. You started to think that maybe, just maybe the person you are going to meet could be the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Of course you stop yourself in your tracks so that you don’t get too far ahead of yourself, but in the back of your mind there is that irritating, annoying mosquito like voice buzzing “what if?” What if this is the beginning of the rest of your life?! *Mind in overdrive*
I think I have mentioned in a previous blog that I believe everyone enters your life for a “reason, a season or a lifetime.” Everyone enters your life to teach you a lesson of some kind. It may be quick; such as talking to a stranger at a bus stop, it maybe for a little while – think of the people that you study or work with, and it might be for your whole life. People will slowly or quickly exit your life when you have learnt all that you can from each other. Sometimes the lessons will be evident, other times the lesson may not surface until later on. In the world of online dating you may chat to someone and the conversation just fizzles out, or you go on a date and realise someone isn’t for you and you discover why that is, which helps direct you onto the path of what it is that you are looking for.
I didn’t consider how being rejected would feel. I, of course went in with an open mind that I wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, nor would everyone be mine. Despite whether you like someone or not, being told that they are “just not into you” hits you hard and it hurts. Why? Because we are humans and we have emotions. That despite whether we were feeling it or not we do just long for a connection with someone, to be loved. Then there are other times where the feeling is mutual. You might get on like a house on fire, but there is no spark. Nothing to ignite a flame. When the feeling is mutual it is so much easier to accept! There is a sense of relief. Then you realise you are back at square one and starting all over again.
However, this is the world my friend and as my girl Kelly Clarkson once said “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and my other girl Ariana said “thank-you next.” It’s important to consider the lessons learnt, to not take it personally, that you are a goddess and one day someone will think of you and treat you in that exact way.
Stay tuned for more of the Online Dating Chronicles!

Author: mabarberlissa

Hi and welcome to my blog! The aim of my blog is to share some of my experiences, my thoughts and feelings about mindfulness, while providing strategies on what gets me by in this ever changing, ever moving world! I hope that my readers gain something out of the entries as well.

One thought on “The Art of Online Dating”

  1. Well said Mel! I know exactly what you mean and also feel everyone I meet is teaching me a lesson about self love and holding up a mirror to me. And yes feeling ‘contrast’ is unpleasant too but leads you more towards what you do want. Sending all the 💕and luck and can’t wait to hear more about your experiences xxx

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