Back When…

I’ve found myself having the feeling of nostalgia lately. When I find myself in these moods I question myself why? Usually there is an underlying cause for the reminiscing, for the longing of what was, or what has past. Sometimes it is a conscious thing, but other times it is embedded in the subconscious and it’s not until you do some digging around that you realise the why. For me, I believe that it is because it is coming up to a year since I left my old home, or maybe it is because of the first grey hair that I found (although if I am honest with you, I am actually proud of this grey hair and I’ve been showing it off to all the people lol)…Back to the house, while I haven’t been having thoughts about my old house in particular, I’ve thought about different stages in my life, a wishing and longing to be younger, to be back in the “good old days” where responsibilities were left up to the ‘grown ups.’ Here we are…now we are the ‘grown ups’ left to work out all of the things, and quiet often than not just floating along like a jelly fish with no clue of where we will end up, making it up as we blob along.

I’ve found myself wishing that I didn’t take those moments for granted. Wishing that I was completely present and immersed in all of the moments. This is where I have found my struggle lately, in the attempt to be totally present and focused on the moment; however my mind has been running 100 miles an hour of worries, and all of the things that I still “have to do.” This is a battle between being present and worrying about the future.

Another struggle is comparison…in this day and age where social media is the in thing it is so easy to get caught up in comparing your own life to those that you see on social media. I am guilty as charged. Some of us women compare our bodies to other women wishing that we “looked like that” or the lifestyle of others “oooo they look like they have so much fun all the time” then the thing that gets me – the family photos. You know the ones – the engagement photos, the wedding photos, the we are expecting a baby photos, the baby has arrived photos (now, I must be clear here. I am not talking about my own family and friends, not at all; I am talking making the comparison to strangers, to celebrities). These are the ones that remind me I am a 32 year old single woman who is so far removed from that reality. It appears to be a life for everyone else, but not for me (despite my longing for that life). This is where the comparison is a killer. Nowhere, and I mean nowhere does it say you have to be married or have a baby by a certain time. We are our own worst enemy in that we put times and schedules on when we think we should have achieved certain things. There is no right or wrong. I’ve tried to put my faith into the Universe and know that when the timing is right, I will meet my person and we will be ‘that’ family. Furthermore, these photographs that we see on social media are purely just snap shots. It doesn’t show the fighting, the bickering, how tired and stressed an individual or family is. It is purely just a snap shot in time.

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” We date, we meet people, and we think that maybe this person is “the one,” but it doesn’t end up that way. We can feel heartbroken and defeated, feel that love was not destined for us, or that we are just absolute hopeless at choosing prospective partners, but when you look at it from the perspective that not ending up with that person, or in other areas of our life – not getting that job, or not getting that house is actually making way for the person, job, house etc that is meant for us.

Whilst it is nice to revisit to the past, to reminisce on what was, it is important not to get stuck there. Remember how you got to where you today and make a plan to keep moving forward. One step at a time. One day you will look back on this day and remember it for what it was.

I’m going to leave it here with the chorus of a song by Tim McGraw “Back When”

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack’s what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I’m down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Author: mabarberlissa

Hi and welcome to my blog! The aim of my blog is to share some of my experiences, my thoughts and feelings about mindfulness, while providing strategies on what gets me by in this ever changing, ever moving world! I hope that my readers gain something out of the entries as well.

2 thoughts on “Back When…”

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