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Welcome to mindful.mel

Hello everyone and welcome to mindful.mel.

What is mindful.mel about?

Last year I created an Instagram account that I named mindful.mel. It was just an idea, that I was going to use it to write down my thoughts and feelings around different things that mattered to me.

Recently I got mindful.mel up and running again. It contains quotes and my ramblings on life, happiness, love, and my ways of being more mindful in this constantly busy world.

I look forward to seeing where this new journey is going to take me!

I hope you enjoy reading!

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Abundance

Abundance – the word abundance is not new, but may be considered a bit ‘woo-woo’ these days. Often when people think about the term abundance they think about prosperity in the material form, how wealthy they are, how much they own, what their house is worth, or the expensive car that they drive. Something I have learnt is that abundance is so much more than that. The Universe provides us with many forms of abundance, for instance, we may find ourselves abundant in time. These days we can often feel time poor. We are stressed that we can’t fit everything that we need to do into our 24/7 day. However, the universe hears us, and will offer us time in other ways – getting all the green lights on the way to work, a business meeting that has been postponed, a friend cancels a catch up – whatever it may be, you are now abundant in time, you have more time than you had intended.

Abundance comes in the form of love, not just the romantic kind, but love from our family and our friends. I’ve been reading the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. While this book was initially published for married couples as a way of understanding your partners love language, it has been extended to singles, because each of us has our own love language and we feel more loved by those who speak our individual love language. The way in while someone expresses their love either by words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch or gifts makes us feel appreciated and loved by that individual (providing they are speaking our primary love language).

Abundance also comes in the wealth of knowledge that we have – the books we read, the information that we search on the web, even the people that we meet in our everyday lives. Everyone has different experiences and from this have different knowledge to share.

Look around you today and think, what am I abundant in? You might be pleasantly surprised!

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows,

Mindful Mel xo

2019 – Letting Go of Fear

Here we are, almost a week into 2019. Now, I’m not really one for New Years Resolutions. They tend to be spur of the moment ideals that we struggle to stick to. I am more one for goal setting, and this is something that I do personally throughout the year.

I’m not sure about everyone else, but I really struggled between the Christmas and New Year period because it didn’t seem to go fast enough. I wanted everything to be happening NOW! and I just wanted to achieve all of the things straight away. My head is clogged with all that I want to do and achieve, while also arguing with myself to calm the heck down! Be present, enjoy the moment, it is future Mel’s problem *exhale*

So I have been thinking about what I would like to achieve in 2019. A wise friend of mine who knew of my stresses sent me the following quote “Psychology says: Go with the choice that scares you most, because that’s the one that’s going to help you grow.” (unknown).

Fear is something that holds us back and something that is so individual. What seems like a totally rational fear to someone seems completely irrational to someone else. We are often fearful of the unknown, and of change. These things are scary because we don’t and can’t control everything that happens in our lives. Having said that, if we don’t take action we are stuck. At a stand still. Nothing happens and nothing changes as much as we wish it would. It all starts with us. With ourselves putting plans and changes into action no matter how big or how small.

My goal for 2019 is to face my fears and to step out of my comfort zone. I have done a lot of this over the last 2 years and have seen my life change dramatically, in the most positive way. However, I am also aware that fear is holding me back in particular areas of my life. For instance, I quit my job to pursue a completely different career where I am a business owner – whoa! when did that happen? and because of this massive change I have had to make sacrifices, particularly in my way of living. In relation to this fear, it is to make sure that I work hard. That I know at the end of each day I have done all that I can in order to ensure that my business is up and running and is growing, and that it is steadily going to be successful.

My other fear is dating. What even is that? I have compared myself to the likes of Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. A 30 – something – year – old, living in one of the most liveable cities in the world in search of true love. While I am surrounded with family and friends who are happily married, have children, or are in long term relationships, I’ve found myself over here not having a clue where to even begin! I have assessed my situation – while I do enjoy my own time and being at home, I am also quiet social – I go out to public places, I love going to cafes and restaurants, I love going on nature walks and to the beach, I go to a gym that has the biggest community feel you will ever come across and I go to meditation classes. What is my point? I put myself in situations where I met new people, where I am around people. However, I have still struggled to meet anyone on the romance front, or anyone that I would consider doing life with. Last year I attempted internet dating. I thought, well this is the way of the world, I will give it ago. Any time someone suggested that we meet up…I deleted my account (counterproductive, self sabotage right there). Why? Why did I do this?

1. Out of fear – fear of the unknown, fear of the person I would be meeting, media

2. It felt forced and unnatural – like scrolling through a catalogue, but instead of food or clothes…it was men.

3. Because this in not how I imagined my life to be – I imagined that I would just meet my own Ted Mosby by accident, through a friend, at a party, in a café….just not online.

So I’ve decided to face my fear. I have re-activated my account. I don’t have the expectation that I will meet “The One” online, but it will give me the opportunity to date again, to go out and get to know someone. Maybe I will make new friends out of it. Maybe it will help clarify exactly what it is that I want, and what I don’t want.

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?” Ted Mosby.

So here is to 2019 – the year of growth, the year of facing fears!

May it be full of excitement, positive lessons and fun!

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows

Mindful Mel xo

Is that health?

Looking after your health is essential to optimal living. We have all been granted with the body that we have, it is important that we look after it! Too often than not, we only start really appreciating our body for all that it can do, when things don’t work so well any more.

As the saying goes “prevention is better than cure” and this week I did all the things of embracing my body and taking those “preventative” measures to ensure that my body is in tip top condition. It’s like getting your car serviced. Once your car is serviced, it seems to drive differently, more smoothly, and I’m sure if cars had feelings they would be smiling from the inside out. It is the same with our bodies. I went and had my eyes tested (I can’t stand anything to do with eyes, it freaks me out…eye drops, puffs of air – no thank-you! But in the name of preventing diseases in the future I persist!). Visiting the dentist is one of my favourite things to do – nothing like being told you are looking after your teeth well, and them getting in there with all of their tools to give them that deep clean!

Ladies, it’s important to look after all of your womanly bits, just as it is for men to look after your bits too. While these procedures are uncomfortable and can be slightly embarrassing, they are there so that we can have peace of mind that we are in a full bill of health!

Furthermore, there’re the specialist treatments that we generally will feel the need to visit to fine tune our bodies – the osteopath, the chiropractor, podiatrist – whatever you need it is available to you! The best thing about visiting these professionals is that while they take out all of the kinks in the bod, they also provide you with exercises that you can do at home to help improve your condition – the key is sticking to it 😉

A wise friend said to me the other day “Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food” (Amatellah). Again, another preventative measure – if you eat healthy and nutritious foods, your body is certain to thank you for it. All of the fruit and vegetables that are good for us are full of nutrients to nourish every part of our body, and to aid in the healing process. It’s such a shame that our supermarkets are full of food that is bad for us, and ultimately killing us slowly. I’m not going to pretend that I only eat fruit and veg. I don’t. I binge on chocolate, chips, ice-cream. However I am aware of my actions, and do try to mindfully limit my consumption. It is also extremely frustrating how our catalogs are full of “specials.” Most of the time these specials are junk food.

While the preventative measures I have outlined above are purely physical, there is constant information and research coming through about taking a ‘holistic’ approach to wellbeing. This includes not only your physical being, but also your mental, social, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. That is a whole other topic!

Whilst I reflect on what I have written above, some may say that some of these preventative measures are taken out of fear. Fear of getting sick, fear of going blind, and the fear of dying. While some of this might be true, I know that I would prefer to have peace of mind that I have professionals about to assist and guide me in the right direction, as well as for me to know that so far – I am on the right track.

Sunshine, Lollipops, Rainbows and an Apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Mel 🙂

The Act of Dating

I am feeling very Carrie from Sex in the City right now. While I am not writing up a column for a magazine from my apartment in New York City. I am going to write about this funny thing called ‘dating.’

The term ‘dating’ is foreign to me. Something I haven’t really engaged with in the past. I’ve been the ‘relationship’ type of person. So here I have found myself in my early 30’s embarking on a strange and unfamiliar journey. It seems what dating consists of has changed dramatically over time. Terms that are used, gender roles have been challenged and now it’s just a ‘free for all’ ‘do what you want’ kind of thing.

Cast your mind back to your parents day and age, or your grandparents. They would attend a local dinner dance where some fine gentleman would ask you to dance, you would be whisked around that dance floor – waltzing, tango-ing, cha-chaing (along with all of the other folk dances) and generally that would be the beginning of a beautiful love story.

Now-a days there is so much to contend with – where do you meet people? – through mutual friends,  at a local club where you have a common interest, or these days…the internet. I dipped into the internet dating thing, and I must say it’s not my cup of tea. For me it felt unnatural and forced, like I was scrolling through a catalog of eligible bachelors. Whilst I know many a couple who have met and fell in love online, and my hat goes off to them, it’s just not for me. I would much rather be swept off my feet on the dance floor at the local RSL (see previous paragraph).

I’ve had a wealth of advice coming from friends and family members, and there has been 2 main common things come out of their own personal experiences:

  1. “I wasn’t looking and was genuinely happy being single”
  2. “Have fun now and do whatever you want”

Exploring the whole dating thing enables you to learn more about yourself and what you want from a partner in the future and what you don’t want without the pressures of having to answer to anyone. You can explore possibilities that you didn’t know were there before.

At the end of the day, and this is completely my opinion and what I have found, is that you have to go with what suits you. What feels comfortable and what feels ‘right.’ Whether it is being set up on a blind date, internet dating, speed dating ect. There is no ‘one size fits all’ and each relationship is unique and individual. Do what feels comfortable without compromising your own values and morals.

Until next time,

Sunshine, Lollipops, Rainbows and Prancing and Romancing,

Melissa 🙂

It’s all about balance

In a world where we are inundated with the “right” way to live our life, it can be difficult and overwhelming to know if we are getting it “right.”

Eat well, exercise, socialise, have time on your own, give to charity, save your money, read, write, expand your knowledge, tune out, meditate, slow down, why do tomorrow what you can do today? Live a minimalist lifestyle. Whoa! How do we fit all of this into our lives? The key is balance, and not being so hard on yourself. As the saying goes “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

We are bombarded on the internet, social media and in bookstores (my favourite kind of store) with self-help books giving us advice on how to live a more mindful lifestyle. I will admit I am a sucker for a good self-help book. In the last year I have read 6 self help books, and am part way through my 7th. What I have found is taking what I find useful from each book and applying it to everyday life. By no means do I take it as gospel. I take what makes sense to me and what makes me feel good – and balanced.

I am a huge advocate for writing. While I have not kept up to date with this blog, I also write in a journal. I find that it helps me process all of the things that are happening within my life. There is no method or structure to my writing, I just write whatever comes to mind and apply it to paper. It is fascinating the revelations that you have while writing.

Something that I have learnt that I find really works for me is tuning into my own body. I listen to it, and honour what it needs. I nourish it with healthy food and exercise. If I need time on my own I take the time to stay at home, go for a walk, have a bath, read, write in my journal, meditate or play with my dog. I do things that make me feel good. I am also well aware if I am getting stuck in a rut and need to “get out more.” I will contact family and friends and make sure I have great interactions with like-minded people that are positive, motivated and inspiring (I hope I motivate and inspire my family and friends too – it is a 2 way street after all).

My point is to find the things that you love and do that! Listen to your body – it’s wants and needs, and give it just that. Once you get into a routine of tuning in, it will all start to occur naturally and be a beautiful, pleasant experience, that makes you feel balanced.

Very Superstitious, writings on the wall

“Very superstitious, writings on the wall
Very superstitious, ladders bout’ to fall
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin’ glass
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past” Stevie Wonder – Superstitious

Are you superstitious? Do you avoid walking underneath ladders? Do you avoid cracks on the pavement paths? Do you have a fear of black cats? I once read that if a black cat is walking towards you it is bringing you luck, however if it walks away from you, it is taking luck away. Do you have a lucky number? Or maybe an unlucky number?

About 2 years ago I accidentally broke a mirror. I looked up remedies to rid myself of 7 years of bad luck. I wasn’t sure if I believed in that myth (but you can never be too careful!) So I took the mirror outside under the moonlight and ground it into dust…low and behold…the last 2 years I have certainly lacked in the ‘luck’ department – so is it because of that broken mirror? Or is it just the way my life has panned itself out so that it can make way for bigger and better things? I am going for the latter my friends, because the glass is always half full! Bigger and better things are on the horizon!

This year I have taken other measures to improve my ‘luck.’ For instance, there are many suggestions and ideals as to when the ‘right time’ is to take down the Christmas tree and the Christmas decorations. I entrusted good old Google and they suggested that the 6th of January was when it should be taken down, and if you miss that date you need to wait until the 2nd of Feb! So on the 6th of Jan I pulled down all of my decorations with care, positive that this will some how aid in boosting my luck levels in 2018!

The power of the full moon and the new moon. I have started some rituals, such as putting my oracle and tarot cards in the moonlight to cleanse and charge, along with my stones and crystals. I sage my house to clear the energy and to attract only positive vibes to my home and within my life.

I have also started setting and releasing intentions on a full moon. An interesting and invigorating concept. It kind of reminds me of being a child…everything was so magical. As a child you have so much to believe in – Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Pixies, Fairies, they all exist and wishes certainly do come true! Some where along the way, as we grew up we lost it. Now I don’t know if it is my current love for self-help books and manifestation articles, making dreams reality, so on and so forth, that I have started feeling the same way. Life is magical. You need to constantly believe that something wonderful is about to happen! And generally it will. For instance I went for a walk on a beautiful summer’s day, a couple of days into the new year and as I was walking I saw the most beautiful butterfly. It was black and had distinct red and white markings. That was wonderful, and certainly made my day! These wonderful life things that happen to each and every one of us does not have to be as huge as winning the lotto, but there is certainly beauty and wonder in every single day.

So I am going to dub myself ‘Lady Luck’ because what you believe, you receive.

Peace out!

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows (and ladybugs) xoxo

 

 

Gratitude – looking back on the year that was 2017!

As 2017 is coming to a close I have been reflecting on the year that has been 2017. I do this every year and have done so since I was a teenager. I pull apart all aspects of my life – health, career, relationships, life in general. I consider what went well, what didn’t go so well, what am I proud of and what would I like to achieve in the following year.

For me, 2017 has been the most challenging year of my 31 years of existence, especially on an emotional level. I could look back and say that I hated this year, but to be perfectly honest with you, while I have been pushed to my limits, I have bounced back with a vengeance, and have grown so much – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

This year I focused on self-care, and I suppose, learning to love the person that I am. That it is perfectly OK to take time to process, to feel and to release. I learnt how to channel my negative emotions in a positive way – I joined the HIIT Factory. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I have done challenges and exercises that I never thought I would be able to do. I focused and completed a 6 week challenge, as well as completed the 30 sessions in 30 days challenge this month. Exercise is not just about your physical health, it is your overall well being. It shows how much your mind has control over you, and the need to push yourself to challenge the self talk. Not only have I become stronger and fitter, I have met such a great bunch of people, which brings me to my next point.

My relationships with my family and friends have strengthened. I have met so many new people this year through starting a new job, joining the HIIT Factory and attending meditation classes. Meeting so many people who all come with their own stories, who are there for one another, to build each other up and support each other has been amazing. I don’t remember ever meeting so many new people in my life! I also think having a common interest has also assisted in meeting these great people.

I am grateful for the roof over my head, and my new roof that I will move into at the start of next year. I am grateful for Teddy and Gattin – there is never a dull moment when they are around!

I am grateful for my body. It carries me around every day. It is healthy. I am also grateful for all of the tools that I have been given to look after my body properly.

Overall I am grateful for this life that I have been given. Yes it is tough. Yes we all have to go through stuff. However it is this stuff that we go through that makes us stronger and appreciate life even more. It helps us appreciate the small things. I love nature. I love the bush, I love rain forests, I love the beach. I love the sound of birds. I love the smell of flowers. I love rainbows. I love the smell of the rain. I love the warmth of the sun, and I love having to rug up on a cold day. There is so much to appreciate!

So, what next? What will 2018 bring?

Happiness, health, positive relationships, new beginnings, change! Bring it on!

I think and I feel that 2018 is going to be amazing!

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy New Year!

May your 2018 be filled with Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows!

Mel xo